The 6 Stages of Losing Your Phone

For the techies, the people who save their lives on their phones, and the majority of people living in the 21st century, it’s pretty distressing when you lose your phone. It always happens when you least expect it and when that moment comes, we do some things that we’re not proud. Don’t worry, though, we’ve all been there.

1. The Pat Down

It starts with the patting dance; checking every pocket on your body at high-speed. This includes checking non-existent pockets, just incase. It’s as fast as Michael Jackson’s crotch grab and, arguably, just as skilful.

2. The Detective

You’ve looked everywhere, you’ve retracked your steps and you’ve thrown around more than one accusation. Unfortunately, unlike the movies, there’s no clues or leads.

3. The Freak Out

It’s finally dawned on you that phoney is gone. It’s fair to say that you don’t react particularly well. The words ‘insane’ and ‘obsessed’ come to mind when people see you. They just don’t understand! Pray that they don’t have to go through the same loss as you, it hurts too much.

4. The Phantom Vibrate

I swear I just felt my phone vibrate!
*checks pockets*
Nope, nothing there still.
[Repeat this at least 20 times]
It’s like you’re reliving the pain of losing your phone all over again…

5. The Brick

Welcome back to the 90’s! Now comes that terrible period of time when you get the ‘temporary replacement phone’. It’s usually your dads ’emergency cell’ or your bestfriend’s first ever Nokia. It’s slow, it crashes, you keep prodding the screen (forgetting that it’s not a touch screen) and it’s got an embarrassing polyphonic ringtone that can’t be turned down.

6. Acceptance

This stage comes in a variety of forms for different people, but it mostly includes creating a facebook group called ‘lost all my numbers’ and comparing new phone models in detail.


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